The Switch
by BirdsHorsesAndOtherProblems
Summary: Fionna and Victoria, two different girls, both aged 19 years, were switched in their sleep by and for causes unknown. How will they survive in this maddening transfer?
1. Chapter 1

Fionna was asleep in a different room.

_Beep-beep-beep_

Moaning, she reached out her hand to shut out that alarm clock.

She then pinched her fingers together for that zipper. Yet, her two fingers ended up on a button, which is part of some pink pyjamas she is now wearing.

She then grumpily blushed.

Just then, her vision condensed into the rest of the room. It looks slightly different.

She then wondered on where is she now.

_Boom-boom-boom_

"Victoria," a male voice, in his 30's shouted behind an oaken door. "...you better hurry up and take your bath! We're not gonna be late this time for the Theatre!"

"Who are you...?" she moaned.

"Your dad."

Fionna's drowsiness lit up into curiosity. "Dad," she said, as she was rushing on the carpet, barefoot, towards the door, "...is that you?"

She opened the door, and saw a European man, blonde-headed, neat cut-haired, who is wearing a black and white top suit.

"Of course." he mumbled in a British accent, as he used with _his_ family.

"Dad," the girl paused.

"Yes?"

"...**WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE?!**"

As Fionna screamed, she grabbed and shook her "dad's" top coat.

"I did not do so, but I cared for you ever since you were born in the hospital, Victoria."

"My name is not 'Victoria', but 'Fionna'. You better admit it, Dad, that **YOU** are a bad father!"

Meanwhile, her "dad" was thinking of something. Something incredibly ridiculous.

"Why are you not talking to me, 'Dad' ?"

"I really wonder, 'how did your hair become _that_ long?' On the night before, it looks so well cut."

Fionna then touched her "bare" head. She then angrily screamed, frantically looking for her "bunny hat" while cursing Marshall Lee for all of this fracas. Before she could ever say a word about her sword and "Cake the Cat"...

"I know where your 'bunny hat' and your 'pink sword' are, 'Fionna'."

"Tell me, where, where, _where_?"

"I'll be back in a jiffy... but I better give you a free haircut. I don't want you tripping in the bathroom, and breaking your skull on the faucet."

So he cut her wavy hair into a _hime cut_. After he barked at her to "get your clothes, take a shower, and come out fully-dressed," he slammed the door, and shot out to his room to look for "her" things.

When he returned, she looked hastily-dressed in a blue blouse, a dark blue skirt, long white socks, and some sneakers. Her lemon-blonde hair is dripping with warm shower water, despite a quick hair-dryer and combing session. All she "needs" is her "bunny hat" and her pink sword (check), Cake the Cat (not available), and a green backpack (not available either, but a red, unused backpack is.).

She can't even fit all of her hair in that ridiculous "Easter hat", not at all.

After a breakfast down a flight of spiral stairs, with the whole family of Grandpa, mother, and the two brothers (and not to mention _a_ butler) staring at her, a drive to Splitsville, OH (a literal, bustling major city), and a "spring cleaning" of a rented apartment, the family then drove to the Splitsville Theater.

After all, she is in a time, and a world, before the "Mushroom War". Everyone is a human there, just like her.

There, on the stage, she encountered Jack. He's, as usual, costuming as a Qing official.

After introducing herself...

"...NOW WHERE IS THAT MARSHALL LEE? I am gonna bash him for landing me in this... this... "

Jack took out a notebook, flipped its pages, and showed her, "MARSHALL LEE, Portland, Oregon. A good surfer."

She fumed in anger. Not before long, Jack was quickly writing a questionnaire on a bigger notebook while Fionna scribbles drawings of herself horrifically torturing Marshy for his antics.

"So... can I check on whether _you_ are Fionna? I guess someone switched you right here from Aaa to Parkingson. Or Splitsville, in this case."

She then angrily shredded the questionnaire, yelling, "I **AM** the real Fionna Mertens, you stupid retard! Why do you think I'm some 'Vic-taaaaw-riuh' dude, huh? I'm gonna punch your guts, even _worse_ than I did to some monsters out there".

"Alright, I'll convince Mr. Andrew, the Director, that you are Fionna. Just pluck out a hair from your head, and I'll ask him to pluck out his strand of hair, for a D. N. A. test. If they don't match, congratulations."

She reluctantly accepted.

After an afternoon scan in the doctor's office, in the evening, Jack returned with some not-so-bad news.

"Boss, I'm sorry to say that this 'Victoria' is not your daughter. She may have been transferred, possibly into Aaa."

Mr. Andrew already knew about "Adventure Time", since last year. As a sci-fi geek himself, perhaps he thought that this was the first time a "dimensional transfer" does exist, after all. He just inwardly wept for his daughter, as he walked away.

Although everyone else around her now knows that Fionna is herself, and not "Victoria Hughes", would she feel like crying, as Mr. Andrew is not her father?


	2. Chapter 2

Day 1:

... And so was Victoria, asleep in another different room. She could not roll as easily as before in this bedroom. And it smells ... bland.

After she yawned, she struggled to break free, grunting and groaning.

"Fionna? What happened to you?"

Victoria stopped struggling, and opened her eyes. She arose, and found herself in what appeared to be Fionna's bedroom. And with Cake.

"Oh, no," Victoria mumbled, in her ("fake, Cockney-ish") British accent. "I _hate_ this place."

"But why? You were there with me in this place for a looong time, since I adopted you ... _perhaps_. (_You also sound strange today. What happened to_ _you ? ) _"

"But I was **not** meant to be here! I should be in my bedroom, not trapped in a 'cocoon' in Fionna's tree-house!"

"But you are Fionna. Had you lost your mind?"

"How about **_you_**, CAKE?!"

"Stop shoutin' at me!"

And Cake fussily unzipped her "bed". Victoria then sprung out, and crashed her two thighs, landing between two branches. She let out a horrible-sounding scream, as she writhed in pain, holding her legs. Cake could have no time to question on how come Victoria/Fionna's hair looks so well-cut and shiny today.

"I better take you to Gumball's, Fi. You're going _nuts_!"

(_in her native, General American English accent_) "**STOP CALLING ME 'FIONNA'! **I _HATE_ THAT NAME, VERY MUCH, CAT!"

Cake then dragged the girl downstairs to get her clothes, down the tree branches, and towards somewhere near the bathroom. Victoria fussily took a while to even select her clothes;

"You will not excuse yourself from what you are to wear, woman!"

"But people will look at me in an indecent way!"

"I don't care. Here, (throws clothes to Victoria) you wear them when you go adventurin'!"

Victoria grumbled, as she stomped into the bathroom.

As Victoria put on Fionna's attire, she would be tempted to go on her usual fits of bratty rage when she sees "that bunny hat". She ignominiously worn it anyway, as Cake is getting even more crosser with every passing second.

(Skipping more boring moments of "packing up", and a rather uninteresting tour of Fionna's house, and a now-reluctant fist-bump, we now see Victoria and Cake in the Candy Prince's lovely palace.)

Seeing a regal figure in pink and magenta, Victoria nonetheless knelt in front of him.

"Your maiden-servant is in the presence of Your Highness. What art thine orders?"

The Candy Prince told her,

"Rise, Fionna. I am _not_ that ridiculously 'formal'; I'm your best friend, remember? And, why did you take off your hat?"

"Not only it seems respectful, but I detest such a childish object to spoil my beautiful head."

"Please, Fi. Put it back on. And stop being so 'formal'; **I'm only a friend**!"

Braving his temper, Vicky put her worst-ever accessory back on her head. It perfectly fits.

"Your Highness Bubba Gum-"

"Just call me 'Gummy'. I'm O. K. with that."

"Gumball, I am not Fionna. I'm just somebody else. I also dislike that name, please."

Cake: "Just look at her, dude. She's gone bonkers."

Gummy: "Fionna-"

Vic: "Name's 'Victoria', or 'Vicky'. (Plucks hair from her head) Here, some hair from me. Can you please scan my hair and that of your girly friend?"

Gumball blushed, and said,

"Alright, alright."

He then backed off, wondering on how did this human, who just ended up in Aaa, could even know so much about his world.

Time card: "26 boring minutes, of more pouting and play-fighting (started by Cake), later ... to the tune of the 'Jeopardy timer' ... "

Gummy: "Bad news, Cake. I've checked her D. N. A. , and I found out that she (_shows results paper to Cake_) is someone else. "

Vicky: (_droops down_) "I guess I'll be a Wanderer in Aaa ... "

Cake: (_pats Vicky's shoulder_) "You're not all **that **useless. I think Glob had sent you here for a purpose."

Vicky: "To kill monsters and fend off the Ice Queen?"

_(How did this girl even know so much about Aaa?!_)

Gummy: "Right. What are your skills, 'Victoria' ? "

Vicky: (guessing) "Umm ... shooting guns, makeshift weaponry, gaming, music, languages- "

Gummy: "So, you're good with weapons, Vicky?"

Vicky: "Uh-huh. Must I fight with a sword? A gun can just bash Simona's brains-"

Gummy: "Don't say that!"

Vicky: (_pauses_) "I repeat, 'is sword-fighting a must' ?"

Gummy: "So. Very. True. An adventuress, or heroine, of Aaa _must_ learn to fight with a weapon as honourable as a sword, not a gun. Guns are for idiots."

Vicky: "Und welche Sprachen kennen Sie? Es zinu vairākas."

Gummy: "Sie sollten in Spanisch. Sin _problemas_ para usted, pero yo sé que el lenguaje muy bien."

Vicky: «Могу ли я говорить по-Русски? Это мой любимый язык.»

Gummy: "No, usted debe hablar en Español."

Vicky: "Why?"

Gummy: "It's better if you acted as Fionna, because if the Ice Queen were to notice you acting strangely, you convinced her that "you", or Fionna, have dumped me. So she will take me and imprison me with ease!"

Vicky: "Alright. Can I be your personal guard? I wanna learn some math to prepare for my test, just in case if I return back home."

Gummy: "Nah. Aaa needs you. You should be slaying monsters and beasts, rather than letting innocents die while you walk around in my palace!"

Gummy: "Cake?"

Cake: "Yehp?"

Gummy: "You assist me in training Victoria."

Day 5:

After some sword-fighting training (on Days 2-4), in which Prince Gumball insisted that she fight using two hands (not one, and not "recklessly") when she uses her sword, Victoria has a light moment with Cake in their bedroom.

When Cake brings out her hammered dulcimer, Victoria's face goes: "ಠ_ಠ" .

"You're just like Fionna, Vicky. Can't you appreciate such a treasure as this?"

Cake then plays a gentle melody, with the dulcimer.

Victoria then remembers a similar instrument she used to enjoy playing on.

"Cake, can I borrow your dulcimer?"

"I thought you **don't** like dulcimers, do you?"

"But I guess I've played one, (or something like that,) before."

So Cake gave her the dulcimer. She played a gentler melody, which quickly mutated into a ferociously toccata-ish/fugue-ish, _vivace t_occata. It has the influence of a mixture of the resonating Latvian folk dainas, and of Northeastern Chinese/Manchurian folk melodies. Despite this harrowingly angry piece (as she normally does make), there is not one sign of damage on the dulcimer. Not a broken string or a scratch.

Cake then snatched the dulcimer back from Victoria's adept hands, checking for any damage. She would be even more reluctant to ever let this Victoria spoil her treasure with such skilled hands.

Victoria, mischievously guessing on the Ice Queen's "possible real name", wrote a letter to her _in Russian_.

Meanwhile, Prince Gumball was researching a cure on a deadly illness. Just as he was about to be done, he felt a cold shiver. Someone is touching him, and grabbing him. He was then blown away in a flurry, through the halls, and out of the palace!

"FIONNA, **HELP**—" (_muffled_)

He could feel the muscular/stocky arms and hands of a grown woman choking him. It was his (_paradoxically beautiful_) enemy, the Ice Queen!

A letter was darted to Fionna's house, crashing through a window. The two girls rush to the Living Room, after a game of darts in the Attic. They find a note (pinned by an icicle) beside a damaged window. Cake unpinned the note, and gave it to Victoria (since she cannot read its language).

_«Уважаемый Виктория, клон Фионна,_  
_Я могу понять, русский, chainik._

_(Так что ... вы заменили Фионна, и теперь она в панике в вашем мире? Skatert'yu doroga. Now, enough funny talk. I've "kidnapped" Prince Gummy-kins, because I love him. If you wanna break his heart, come over here to the Ice Kingdom, and fight me if you have the guts. Stop playin' around and **START FIGHTING LIKE A WOMAN!**)_

_Трололо на данный момент, _  
_Симона Петрикова. ;) »_

Victoria then gathered the prepared remains of her monster/beast-enemies, and made them into explosive/flammable materials, and put them into some old spray cans. ("flamethrowers and smoke grenades")

Some time later, Victoria and Cake fly to the Ice Queen's castle. In secret.

Then she bursts through the gates, riding on Cake, disguised as "some hideous knight", and using her makeshift "flamethrower".

« Здравствуйте, **_Ледовый Царица!_** »

The Ice Queen then used her powers to shield herself from being burnt, as her palace starts dripping with water, due to the flames.

Victoria then rescued Prince Gumball, fought the Ice Queen (_boooo-ring!_), and tied her up. Both the Prince and the posh-theatre-star ride Cake, and return to the Candy Palace.

The last thing we could hear for the Ice Queen in her cell is an iron door _slam_.


	3. Chapter 3: Fionna

At least Fionna lived a better life on 21st-century Earth. Or did she?

First, she has exams coming up this fall. She really needs to focus hard. _Very hard__._

Second, her room is not a unkempt, fragrant-as-wood domain; her new residence is a tidy, not-so-educational nightmare of typical _American_ teenage tomboy material, that yet reeks of jasmine scents instead of used laundry.

Thirdly, she must keep her identity as secret: she must _pretend_ that she is Victoria, not _Fionna_. Identity confusion? She is also required to even "_hate_" her own name.

Fourthly, she must pretend to enjoy Victoria's violent games, which horrifies (and disgusts) her. (_She'd rather play those "older" games, and read mags about swords and adventurers. What a surprise it would be, to see herself on TV as a "fictional character", and how much more disgusted, when she realized that she was created in a fanfic by an ugly old man in an ice palace! Ugh._)

But all of this will not be easy, though ...

* * *

_Day 35_, (_April 19, A. D. 2014._)

This was Victoria's date to attend her "_appointment_"; a Comic-Con in _Hermes Megamall _.

By 10:00 A. M. , Victoria is supposed to be here (_or, "forced here"_) to do her most humiliating thing: cosplay as Fionna, and then her _numero uno _hated character, Rapunzel, _from the Disney movie, "Tangled". _(_she hates both of them because of how they are compared with her for her ridiculously long, blonde hair, and her "tomboy" attitude._)

All of this seems to be a piece-of-cake for Fionna (_for she can act as ... herself._) ... half-way.

She grinned evilly, imagining how that ungrateful wretch, Victoria, may have suffered the torture of going on _her _adventures, while she can ruin Victoria's life if she would ever be "exchanged" (_hopefully_) .

"Fionna?"

She was then pulled back into reality.

"I'm done with my ... _er_ ... costume and props, Dad."

"Then why are you sitting around in your room, pondering away? Your event is about to start in an hour."

She then rushed out of her room, and, guided by Louis (_cosplaying as the oh-so-adorable Prince Gumball_), walked to the _Megamall_.

Already the ground floor was brimming with cosplayers, cosplayers, and more cosplayers. Some looked lovely, some _clichéd_. Some looked magnificient, some looked horrible. And some are _so_horrible, you would rather squirm in silence, backing off at the very sight/smell of their suits/armor/clothes/robes/garments.

There are even other _Fionna__'s_ and _Prince Gumball__'s_, as well. And multiple _Reina Heladas_.

Before Fionna could ask ...

"**This, **my friend, is other people dressing up as you or your friends or your enemies, " explained Louis, as he was restraining her arms from reaching out, and punching some innocent _Reina Helada _cosplayer. Any one of "them", _as if by "magic"._

But as soon as he released Fionna, she drew her (plastic) sword, and charged towards an innocent Ice Queen cosplayer.

"Hey ~!"

The cosplayer skilfully dodged the angry "heroine", now in another delusional fit of mistaken identity.

But the cosplayer, with Louis' help, restrained her, with one person of the two grabbing her struggling wrists.

"LET GO OF ME, villain - (_looks at Louis madly_) and fraidy scoundrel!"

"Vicky, it's me, Abigail, your best classmate. What's the matter with _**you?!**_"

"Abigail, please take off your wig, before she gets as out of control _as an orange tree in an acid rain!_"

The cosplayer did, with one hand still clenching Fionna, unleashing an amazingly boring dangle of brunette hair (Victoria's was more boring).

"Victoria, why were you charging at me like a bull? I'm **not **the Ice Queen, am I?"

This was an unpleasant surprise for this poor girl-outta-some-post-apocalyptical setting.

"Louis, what's the matter with Victoria? Why was she suddenly going bonkers today?"

"That's not Victoria. That's just a girl who stumbled in Victoria's house just after the _real_Victoria get lost ... somewhere?"

"Actually, I'm Fionna Mertens. I just got exchanged here at Vicky's mansion, while she's in _my_ tree-house, going on some crazy adventures. _Pfft. __Wacky magic ... _"

"_Urgh, _even **you **are going bonkers, Louis. What were the both of you smoking on?"

Yet this afternoon was another interesting afternoon. Fionna (_dressed as Rapunzel from "Tangled"_) had a hard time being forced to speak in a poorly-done, wacky German accent, Louis was still in his _Gumball_ suit/uniform, and Abigail is _Maria Nikolaevna _in a military suit * (_there's a popular tv miniseries about her lately_).

Oh, and Abigail just forgave poor little Fionna, who was treated under suspicion ever since ...

* * *

Day 91 (_June 14, A. D. 2014_),

Mr. Andrew was showing Fionna a map of the Eastern United States, pointing at Bermuda.

"We're gonna go watch a pirate show on Bermuda. (-_Arrrr!_-) The family has decided, and I'm booking the tickets ... **tonight.**"

Fionna's blue eyes scanned the words "_ATLANTIC OCEAN_".

**DUN DUN DUN DUN **

"_OCEAN_". **

The five letter, _O_-word.

She then held her legs, and trembled, and almost wept. Something _un_-Victoriaish.

Oceans.

* * *

Day 98 (_June 21, A. D. 2014._)

The Hughes arrived in their ancestral homeland, Latvia, on the evening. This time they've brought Jack, Louis, Natalie (Victoria's older, city-girl cousin.), and, of course, Fionna (_Vicky's absent, in Aaa, fighting monsters of some sort._) The Hughes were to celebrate _Jāņi _("_YAH-nyee_", which is Mid-summer's Eve/Day.), when Latvians like them dance around bonfires, eat much cheese and drink much beer (_The Hughes are teetotalers__, or "non-drinkers"_), and sing too much.

On that festival, women and girls are to wear a crown of flowers, and men with the name "John" are to sing "_Līgo!_" ("_Sway!_").

Sounds silly, right?

All the way to 2 a. m.

Aside from all the great feast o' meat and cheese, at least Fionna could freely have that _raaaaare_ taste of beer, rarely ever tasted on her days in the Candy Kingdom.

_Beeeerrrr ~  
_  
But before she might face some "troublesome-future-by-alcohol", she was snatched away by her three new (and weird) friends.

They then challenged her to compete with them: who will make the best guitar solo?

And in the process, the four even made a harmonious resonance, of four young voices to the quaint background track of four acoustic guitars' strumming.

"_Far away from the maddening cro-o-owd ... _"

Even audible lyrics, song under words, drowned into the current of the combined music, until there is only the melodious flood of sound.

It would sound as refreshing as four Muses, after being exposed to bland _Līgo!_ for almost the whole evening.

All the way to 2 a. m.

After all that noise and song: _whew_, it's time for her to hit the pillows and sheet, and drool away.

And the following three mornings are filled with boring trips all over _Latgale_ (Eastern Latvia), with a volley of boring photography of beautiful old structures, and a _lot_ of green.

At least the castles, the gaming (back in the cabin/on the way to here and fro), and the sword fights ... they make the trip less of a bore.

* * *

_* fs71/PRE/f/2012/085/f/7/the_colonel_in_chief_maria_nikolaevna_by_  
** watch?v=cYNdUM2gRsg_


	4. Chapter 4: Fionna and Victoria

"Fionna, I guess you should write a letter to Victoria just in case if she gets back."

"Victoria, you should write a note or letter to Fifi to read when she comes home." 

* * *

_Fionna's letter:_

"Dear Victoria Gisella Hughes,

Kinda sucks to be you, but my life here in the past sure is _sour_. Yet it's sometimes sweet and wonderful; Latvia is such a nice country, with such happy folk, memorable scenery. Exams to cram for, no monsters to kill, very few adventures, getting jammed in an old-y room full of boring stuff, and more quirky friends, and ... why the violent games and the freakish tantrums, Vic? Now, just look at what I've done to your mad life: I messed your room, your identity, and your games: no more horrific violence for you, just the _adventurous stuff_ you're gonna love. :D

Oh, and **you** hate me because you "_are as tomboyish as me_"? _Separated at birth_ junk to deal with, but that's too bad for you. As they say in this old-fashioned century I'm in right now, "_deal with it_".

But then again, everyone in that age wants me to take off my precious hat, and remove all weapons. While I am upset at this, _I would happily think of how such a whiny creep like you will handle it in my world, where all sorts of weird things can happen: magical wizard kings, princes eyeing someone as lovely as you, monsters and more monsters, and more "unusual" stuff, at least to you._

For all that I've just learned about a girl as crazy as you, yet so talented, and knowledgeable about _Aaa_. You should have complained less!

Well, at least there's one flippin' perk of being a fictional character: _I'm your worst nightmare in real life._

From your _numero uno_ objeto de su odio,

Fionna Mertens, the Human."

* * *

_Victoria's letter:_

"Dear Fionna Mertens, the Human,

_How are you dealing with stuff in my world?!_

It's quite a fun time in _Aaa_. It's not as hateful as it seems: slaughtering monsters by the hundreds or thousands sure beats studying, if not playing games with lots of guns and firepower.

And, at least I captured the Ice Queen, who now sits in a jail cell under the Candy Kingdom's palace. But I've got this vampire _sir_ to deal with: yet Cake strictly forbids me from ever killing him at any way. Urgh!

At least I can be free to share my gifts to _Cakey_ and _Prince Gummy_ and his fiery friend. Just look at all the drawings I've made. Some of them are for _you_. _Вы понимаете, что это значит?_

Oh, and do you like your tidied room? I gave away all the potatoes and sweet stuff in your home to _Mr. Gummy_ until you return. Just call him if you want them back.

Finally, speaking of _Mr. Gummy_, he also taught me some maths to prepare myself for the upcoming tests on September.

With contempt, or not (_?_) ,

_Miss Victoria Gisella Hughes_ _Ozols._

Problēma?

_P. S. Now you have the Lich King to deal with. Happy freaking trails, sister._

_P. P. S. All notes dealing with any other language than "Ingleesh" will be placed beside this one you're reading on sticky paper, glued with a kind of slug's oil - whatever it is._

_P. P. P. S. This vampire freak couldn't leave me alone!_

* * *

_Day 170__. _

In the middle of her dreams, Fionna could smell the old, sweet smell of her wooden Tree Fort. She embraced the tightness and warmth of her bed, but was too sleepy to get up and notice where she is now, instantly transported from that snugly soft blanket and pyjamas of Victoria's, to her own bed and rough-woolen sweater.

When she woke up, she could notice Cake happily rejoicing her return, embracing and hugging her.

She would have a few seconds to browse her somewhat-altered room, covered here and there with deeply-drawn paper drawings ("_where's that mace?!_"), before reading Victoria's note.

She threw it in a crumpled piece of paper before destroying the drawings, which Cake hastily tried to save. 

* * *

_Day 170.__(September 1, A. D. 2014.) _

Victoria's stiff body felt her own clothes and blanket on her again, as she slumbered. She could feel her room's air-conditioned cold, no musk, none of such things _Finn's_ clutter might bring on her house. Or will she?

She could finally hear the familiar sound of an alarm clock, no longer the sound of birds, nor the sweet sound of the dulcimer ...

When she saw her room in a little mess, she screamed and wailed angrily.

"MY ROOM!"

But she also had to notice her _nemesis'_ note.

She also threw at directly at a dustbin, just as her father and mother opened the door.

_(Yet, she passed her maths exams. Barely.)_

_(And she also will have a hard time reinstalling her games, and reconciling with her dad and cousin.)_

* * *

Of both girls in the end, Victoria was the most angry.


End file.
